What does a Yankee know about the South?

As is always the case when I get in good reading sumptin, sumotin else comes along and makes me put her down for awhile. Thus is the current state of afers.

I had tod ya'll dat I'd be reading some here book on southern vs southwestern dialects. I got through Wet As A Hen and Handy as Hip Pockets Is on a Hog. But I ain't had a chaince to settle in with This Dog'll Hunt or "How We Talk". But I did get to peruz them.

My Comments: This Dog'll Hunt by Wallace Chariton seems to be all right. I found many phrases in it that I've heard my pappy say (et al). However, i did not thank it wuz too reader friendly.
The next book "How we Talk" by Allan Metcalf is real nice and somewhat professionally done. Now he's from up north, so everything he said I was suspicious of. Nevertheless, I read the chapter on the South. Now, this fellar is a prof of Anglish, so I guess he knowd a lot bout this here subject. Here is what he wrote:

"The South is not only the most distinctive but also the largest of the distinctive areas of American speech, occupying the entire southeastern corner of the United States. More specifically, it stretches from Virginia to eastern Texas..." (emphasis mine) Did ya'll hear that!!!??? Eastern Texas. Maybe Longview. But Mr. Black has put Paris in the Southwest. So, you see people not even the experts can agree.
But Mr. Metcalf continues,"...Its influence extends well beyond the boundaries of the Old Confederacy to area linguists call Upper South or South Midland, stretching from Maryland to eastern Oklahoma and including Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas, much of Missouri, and the southernmost parts of Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois." (where the author lives) WHAT IN TAR NASHUN??????

Like I said before everybody wants to be a part of the South, even Maryland and southern Ohio. I guess Hades is about to freeze or something. You know I don't mind it too much if Texas (east) and Oklahoma want to be honorary members of the Southern club, but I'll be dang if I'm going to put up with some South Midland mess which includes Hawaii and Alaska and Guam and British Colombia as a part of the "South."

If this don't beat all, Mr. Metcalf goes on to say that many words are used both in the South and in the South Midland. Then there are some words limited to both regions without crossover. Well, if there are words that are not crossed over obviously there are two different dialects. And this dude claims to teach Anglish? And what about this," Southern has a definite geographical base, but linguistically it is a state of mind." So, I guess you can be Southern and all if ya set yacha mind to it. Well, I'll be. Ain't that sumin'!!!

I will say that he mostly got right some of the dixtinctions. I ain't had time to analiz his treatment on osunds but I bet he did all right there too. Here is his list. Maybe someday we can go back and pick these up for lessons.

y'all
hey
snack time
fixin'
might could
it's a jungle out there
all the difference
bidness
blessing
bucket
butter beans
buzzard, bell a
carry and tote
chunk
cold drank, coca-cola
evening and diner
funny bone
gully washer
icing on the cake
jackleg (although there is a variation to this one)
light bread
lightwood
like to
they ment it
mash off, mash on
polecat
redlight
sack
sick at the stomach (it's to the stomach)
skillet
spigot
furnished with suits
wait on.