Left the road at 90

I heard this one today. I had forgotten about it. It describes reckless driving. I used to think it had something to do with Highway 90. Then I connected Highway 98 with it since a stretch of that road is called Dead Man's Highway (or something similar). But I think the 90 refers to 90 mphs.

And speaking of speed. What's up with the AL State Troopers everywhere? Geeesh.

Tore up

So, I was sort of convinced by a transplant from Iowa to do a post on tore up.

It seems like everything gets tore up here. First, it was the car, then the plumin', then the dang roof got tore up from the storm. After that hurricane, the roof was in bad shape but that thunder blunder really tore it up.

And in Iraq we tore up Jack with our missles and tanks and stuff.

I just hope ya'll get ya'lls thangs fixed that were tore up. Heck, I am fixin' to get some rest myself then maybe I'll worry about what's broken around here.

Slam up

Being 'round har therz lotas talk 'bout fars. Got bowth friends and family that luke after folks in fares. And t'day at church one women talked about how our bad works are gonna get slam burned up. Like sticking a fare to a roll of hay (not a bail, a roll bigger than a bail). I guess that is like that ole house fare where the hole dang thang burnt slam up.

Course I reckon when ya place a candle slam up aginst the wall it's liable to burnthe whole thang slam up exspecialy when that old oak wood ketches on fare. It'll burn like kindlin'.

Now me and my wife sayz slap dab up. We've been on a couple trips out in the cuntry where the volonteers fight them fares in the wuds. Man, I've see the a whoel tree burnt slap dab up. Nothing left but an ole smoking stick. I wanted to help one time but my buddy got plum mad when I picked up the hose and it went shooting water out so fast that the water went up in the air and I to the ground.

slam: adj= completely; sinonims: slab dab and plum

Ya'll ready for sum futball?

ROLL TIDE ROLL!!! It's practice time around here in the south and the Crimson Tide is gearing up for a great season (I hope). My buddy Bob C, sent me this email about futball in the south. He claims to be a Christian and a Gator fan, but I often wonder how that can be. But if anybody gets to heaven ole Bob will, wearing Green and Blue and Orange. I just hope the Tide bleachers are no where near the Gator bleachers.

BTW the Tennessee one is my favorite.

1) What does the average Univ. of Alabama player get on his SATs?
........Drool.

(2) What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one
room?
.........A full set of teeth.

(3) How do you get a South Carolina cheerleader into your dorm
room?
........Grease her hips and push.

(4) How do you get a Georgia graduate off your porch?
.........Pay him for the pizza.

(5) How do you know if a Mississippi State football player has a
girlfriend?
........There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup

(6) Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum?
....Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

(7) What are the longest three years of an Auburn football
player's life?
.........His freshman year.

(8) How many Florida freshmen does it take to change a light
bulb?
.........None. That's a sophomore course.

(9) Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco?
........Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He knew that the police would
never look at LSU for a Heisman Trophy winner.

AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash.....)

(10) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on
Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

The Controversy of the Haint

Them feathers have been ruffled around pech's house over the "haint". It seems Kc wuz right. A darn haint IS a spook. My dear wife got all upset that I did not know that a haint was a ghost. She then began to give me the third degree. Have you not read 13 Alabama Ghosts, 13 more Alabama Ghosts, 13 Mississippi ghosts, 13 Georgia ghost..." and a whole list of other Suthern ghost books.

But in my defense I do remember my grandmother talking about haints in reference to a small bug. Or at least that is how I remember. Nevertheless, I guess I need to be whipped 40 times save one with a wet noodle. I have been made fun of fur not knowin' my suthern stuff. Even been accused of being a dang Yankee in suthern clothes. Now that was a real insult. It's made me run around like a whipped down with its tail between its legs. And boy am I in the dawg house for it.

(Side note. The word An Ankou is the Breton word for haint. So, not all has been lost. I've learned sumptin).

What's your accent?

Wif all these quizes everybudy is takin' I shore wuda thought someone wuda dun this one. Check it out to find out what accent you have. And if you don't find it then add yours to the list!!!

This is surely not me.

This is a suthern one but...she must live in Mountain Brook.

Now this fella is suthern!!

And hars anuther site from Kentucky college. (ya'll know every skool is a college except for The University).

Do any of these people sound like folks ya'll know. The first one sounds like my former boss. "hey, where za time sheet?". Maybe a familiar sound will come to mind as you have fun.

Answer Question 2

Next kwestun' comes from ER also. What are molasses?

Heck boy them thar good eatin'. Molasses is syrup made from sugar cane. You put it on biskits and it shore is good. Now thar is also sargum molasses too. I can't remember what exactly they are made from. But molasses is made for soppin' up with homemade biskits.

Side note: I saw my dad mix butter and pear perserves together then sop that up with a biskit too. Whew. Ya'll making me hungry. Anybudy got some conecuka sawsage or bacon. Heck I'll take just plain ole biskits and gravy.

Answers to Question 1

My good ole blogger buddy ER has asked for a little help. I kinda figure he already knowd the answers but heck he's helping me keep this cheer blog up and running. And I shore do thank 'im. Also, I like to say a big howdy out to Hen House. Stop by her hen house when ya get a chain sah. Thanks for stopping by, grab you a glass of tea and sit for a spell with us.

He's asked what is "haint" except a funny way of saying "ain't". My answer is that "haint" has been used to describe a little bug but not necessarily an ant. However I figure that is how that durn haint came into being. Some ole suthern heard an ole Yankee talking about an ant and thought, "He must be talking about a haint."

Now let's also remember that haint no telling. Haint could synoneemus wif ain't. Maybe one yall know better than me. If so we loved to learn from ya.

Thank I got it

Well I thank I have cleared up the confusion. I just decided to change schems. That looked like it solved the problem.

Now I just need to get my tale in gear and post sumptin' for yall.

Been absent for a long while

I've been gone for awhile. We've been a movin'g back to the heart of Dixie. And Blogger has mess'd up my first post with a bunch of white space between the title and the first sentence. I'll have to get some ole smarty pants in here to find out what the heck is going on with the HTML. Anyway, I'll cha know when I hear sumptin.

I shuld be able to post a lot of things now that Iz back home. But somehow I ain't heard nothing to put hear. I guess Iz used to the talk around and hadn't paid no never mind to the Suthern. I mean I've visited sum of my gud ole buddie swho live out in the woods and nothing. I'll try to pick those ears up and heard sumptin to write cha'll about. If nothun' else share some ole stories I keep hearing around touwn.

Crazy sumptin'

Thar's an old lady that I know. She's crazy. She as crazy as a bessie bug. I've seen 'er do all sort of thangs like hollerin and carrin' on in the middle of the night. It's like she's out thar skerin' all the boogey men away or sumptin. It's quite a site. Heck one day my neighbor said she az out in dar yard with an ole dang whip yellin and hollerin and such and hittin' da house with the whip. Who knows what she's up to. She is sort of like that Boo Radley in that ole Killin' Mockingbard book. All the yunguns in the neighborhood are plum skered of her. Shoot, i know I know sure am!!

Denton,TX

Home of one of the Confederate Memorials.